2.1.15

AFCON - The Fantasy Premier League Turmoil



December is a month of giving. People give each other presents. Liverpool give away at least 6 points and Joey Barton often gives a team mate facial injuries at the annual Christmas party. In fact, every now and then, us Brits become so generous at Christmas that we assemble a load of musicians that people don’t really like and raise millions and millions of pounds for Africa. Quite a gesture I am sure you will agree. And how does Africa pay us back in the New Year for our ongoing generosity? They put on a tournament in January; stealing a shed load of Premier League player and fuck our fantasy football teams right up. Typical.

The African Cup of Nations isn’t exactly a stand out in the footballing calendar and gets more ratings from “Paddy McGuiness Footballing Gaffes” DVD sales than it does live coverage but it can be the undoing of a forgetful Fantasy Football manager. You might think it is just a tournament created just to Robbie Earle gets work (even though he is, rather offensively, Jamaican) but AFCON is more than just a reason for Ron Atkinson to shut his curtains. A total of 20 Premier League players could be involved in the tournament and there’s a few thing to keep your eye on.

Star Players

At first glance, you might think these are few and far between but Swansea and Crystal Palace fans will tell you otherwise. Wilfried Bony has been one of the best strikers in the league this year and it would be frankly illogical if a club doesn’t make a 25m offer in the Summer or even when he’s away on pesky international duty. In FPL terms, you will struggle to replace those goals and points at that value. The only saving grace for FPL managers is that two games in the period are Chelsea and Southampton, perhaps harder places to score points. No such consolation from a Swansea point of view, though. Palace face losing potentially their most creative player in Yanick Bolasie. A 53 point return on a guy you could pick up for under 5m is not to be sniffed at and the decision now has to be made whether to leave him rotting on the bench, knowing that the rebuy is now at nearly 5 and a half million. Damn you AFCON!

Injuries, Injuries, Injuries

I think this one explains itself. There will be plenty of football fans watching through fingers as they see their star player marauding across the (not famously well maintained) pitches of Equatorial Guinea, riding challenges are players ranging in quality, from World Class to School Class. It doesn’t bear thinking about. For those of you who think I am, perhaps, stereotyping, we are talking about a tournament in which players were shot at on a bus. Stay Safe Wilfried!

It’s a Team Game!

Sadly it isn’t as simple as one player leaving and replacing him. At least that’s what I tell my girlfriend when it takes me 2 hours to do my line up. Yaya Toure leaves for Africa, you just bring in another midfielder right? Well yes, actually but it affects more than just his points. What about the system City now play? Will Milner play in a more attacking role? Who will replace Toure? Who’s on set pieces? It all matters! Not only that but take West Ham for example. On league evidence, they are a top 6 side and are about to go 3 weeks without Sakho, Song & Kouyate, but without the squad depth of the big guns. Song provides real grit in that midfield as well as flair and you can bet your bottom dollar they will be conceding more goals than they usually do in that period so having Adrian at 5m outscoring the more expensive Mignolet or Howard could now change, even though it’s a striker and 2 midfielders leaving for Equitorial Guinea! It’s a fucking minefield!!

Know Your Squads

There is obviously an upside to all this, if you study your squads. The really obvious effects for instance are that Andy Carroll will play every minute of every game if he stays fit and they will cater to him with Sakho going. More often than not, that will mean goals given his talent. If you fancy Swansea to carry on winning even without Bony, then Gomis at 2m cheaper but now starting for a few games could be a swoop. Newcastle United lose Papass Cisse and Tiote for the tournament and Ayoze Perez at 4/8 million could be an excellent addition to your squad, as could Jack Colback at 4.8m who seems to be improving every week. Although Tiote’s customary bookings might now switch to him if he plays more of an enforcer role. The point is, if you can get clued up on who will start games and you can pounce on them cheap, you will get a leg up on your lazy friends. Who knows, if these players perform they might keep their place. Not you Gomis, sorry mate.

Don’t Forget!

Yes there’s darts on. Yes, you want to play with your new space hopper/PS4/Loom bands (delete as appropriate) but don’t forget. If you have African players in your squad then start planning their exit soon. You don’t want to take minus points on the chin just because you forget to do it gradually. 

If you started reading this at the last section, this might read like ethnic cleansing, it really isn’t. Please read the rest and please listen to the The Gaffer Tapes, The UKs biggest comedy fantasy football podcast at www.thegaffertapes.com.